Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Actual Quote from a Co-Worker referring to putting "sign here" flags on contracts: "My stickering is EPIC."

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Actual quote from a co-worker: "I saw the most amazing thing yesterday, speaking of pictures of wangs".
An actual email sent to me by my boss:
Must...kill...crew....
Must...resist...
Have...child...
Must...not...go...to...prison...
Must...watch...child....grow...
Urge...to...kill...fading....
Actual quote from a co-worker: "Your face is so creepy".

Friday, January 7, 2011

Actual quote from a co-worker: "I was pretty much the Peter Frampton of my high school glee club."
Actual quote from a co-worker: "I'd rather be shot by a gun with a silencer because loud noises scare me."

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Actual conversation between two co-workers:
Co-worker 1: Everyone thinks they’re important
Co-worker 2: Well, I have an update for them.  They get the finger. 
Actual quote from a co-worker (not directed at me btw): “Eww.  How come everything you bring in here you put by your testicles?” 
Actual "conversation" with a co-worker:
Co-worker: I have a real fondness for the number 8.
Me: *laughs*
Co-worker: I do! 8 and 18. MMMMMMM MMMM MM those are some good numbers.
Actual quote from a co-worker: "California is America's wobbly tree house".

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Actual quote from a co-worker: “John Denver looks like an Asian woman sometimes”.     
This is part of an actual conversation that I overheard at work. My co-worker was on the phone with a vendor:
Co-worker: Is there any way to expedite that process?
*pause*
Co-worker: Is there any way to expedite that process?
*longer pause*
Co-worker: Is there any way to make it go faster?
Actual quote from a co-worker: "You want payroll. It's the last office on the right. If you turn left first."

Monday, October 11, 2010

Actual quote from a co-worker: "Just say it's a piece of NASA that fell off the space shuttle. They'll take care of it".
Actual quote from a co-worker: "If you overcook a pop-tart it defeats its own purpose."